What If
by KikoTsukinamura
Summary: You could have a Homestuck in your own house? Maybe even form relationships with them? What would happen if you sent a letter to Hussie himself, asking for certain characters think you wouldn't receive them as an April fool's gift, but instead got your favorite character(s)? ((Rated T for Homestuck))
1. Chapter 1

This is beta for something my non Homestuck cousin gave me an idea for. Yes, he is an non Homestuck... He called John a PEDOPHILE X(

* * *

I scroll through the endless pages of Google, ignoring my friends on my Pesterchum client. One of them so happens to have the ironic chum-handle of turntechGodhead, so that makes my day ultimately brighter in any way possible. He even calls himself Dave Strider, the silly one he is. However, you both made quite the moirailship with each other.

Trust me, it's hard to get past someone like Dave and his stupid irony. Though, what can you do? Ha ha. I just so happen to get bored scrolling through the billions of pages on Google on what I searched, to see that he's online today. Ever the lazy one, is he? Weekends aren't my best topic either, so what can I say about that.

I chuckle as I bring up my client and God Tier John pops up. I'm such a fan-girl, I swear to God. Smiling brightly, I click on his handle, and that bright white box appears for the four hundred thirteenth time this week.

**(crystalChaos began pestering turntechGodhead at 15:40)**

**CG: Hey there, §tranger.  
TG: sup person who still types like a fucking bimbo  
CG: Well, good morning to you too, mi§ter §marty pant§. §omeone wake up on the wrong §ide of the bed thi§ morning?  
TG: nah was talking to jade earlier  
TG: that girl doesnt know when to shut up when she has some candy  
TG: barely fit a fucking word in when shes like that  
CG: I...§ee?  
CG: I wa§n't aware that you are able to pe§ter Mi§§ Harley.  
TG: well yea i can  
TG: i cant?  
CG: No, I didn't §ay that, my friend.  
CG: It'§ not like I a§ked or anything.  
TG: god you type like rose  
TG: except for that quirk like karkat and kanaya have  
TG: oh god  
CG: Ye§?  
TG: you arent a troll are you**

I almost crack up at the mention of the now extinct life forms in the rather beautiful comic. Holding back a chuckle storm, I reply back with a wide, playful smile. Like he's standing in front of me.

**CG: Of cour§e not, my friend. I can a§§ure you that I'm fully human.**  
**CG: Ju§t like Ro§e, Jade and John. Why would you think that I'm an endangered §pecie§ §uch a§ a troll?  
TG: god damn it i gotta go ttyl  
CG: Ha ha, talk to you later, '§trider'.**

**(crystallizedGenerosity ceased pestering turntechGodhead at 16:30) **

I click off of the white box, and almost instantly after that, his name grays out, showing he's logged off. I sigh dramatically. Back to searching the web it seems. I hum a familiar song called Clarity by Zedd. One of my all time favorites, should I say. It's rather soothing for someone such as myself, who can't seem to hold a single matespritship with anybody I date. Wait a motherglubbing moment! What's this little _miracle_ I've stumbled upon~?

"Send a letter..." I read aloud. "To Andrew Hussie himself. Feedback or requests acknowledged the creator himself, so try it out..." I lean back in the velvet chair I have in my possession at the moment with a perplexed look devouring my face. I bite my lip.

Sure, I'm naive, but not that much. Maybe I should ask Ashe. Following my own advice, I stand form my chair on the site, and walk over to my sister's room. Most likely, she's on Tumblr, talking to her friend, Vilalle or whatever. I don't have the 'talent' apparently to make a Tumblr account on the computer. Though, little does she know, I already have one on Tumblr. It's thedevilbehindtheshades on Tumblr (A/N: thats not real guys made up really i dont have one). And, her Celi6acy blog is following me, and she actually likes my posts. Ah, the cruel cruel irony.

Containing a slight snicker, I open her grey and black door. "Hey, Ashe? I have a question."

I hear keys and a garbled voice over Skype, along with beeping form another computer nearby. It's just her Pesterchum client. Someone who calls themselves Eridan Ampora is pestering her, but she's talking to Vilalle and...who's that other girl? Ah, forget it. My sister's Pesterchum account is technologicalAlternative. Apparently, she has dwindling time to talk to her best friend "Eri" anymore, yea she has finals soon, and sure she has over fourteen blogs to attend to, but can't she at least pay attention to the people that need them? I'm pretty sure Eridan, or whoever he is, needs girl help again, and she's like the only person who basically understands girl's thought processes. I don't because I hang around guys too often. I'd be better off telling a girl what she tells Eridan.

Or whoever he is...

Forget it, I'm just gonna ask her already, since she didn't respond. "Hey, I found a website that lets you send a message to Andrew Hussie, requests and feedback is allowed...? Ashe? Ugh, ASHE!" I scream in frustration, and I see her lips tilted down in a flash moment of hatred. It's just something I acquired over the years of living with my sister-whatever.

Calmly placing her headphones down, she doesn't face me, but glances in my direction. "What." It wasn't a question of approval. It meant, get along with it I don't have all day for your bullshit.

"I said," I drag out with a roll of my brown orbs. I directly at the sliver of pale blue I see in my sister's eyes and continue with my sentence. "I found a website that lets you send a message to Andrew Hussie, and, uh, requests and feedback is allowed. Do you want to say anything?"

Ashly simply puts her headphones back on, and says, "Send me Eridan. He doesn't deserve to be around those inconsiderate dip shits." Then, she begins to move her hands around the keyboard at asinine speeds once more. Shrugging, I leave her premises and return to my own.

Ah, time to get to work. Alright...How bout this?

**Dear Andrew Hussie, I understand that you are particularly busy with planning for the newest update, and I respect that entirely. I wanted to request the shipment of a character or two. If it's not too much, could I have Dave, Karkat, and Terezi for awhile? I understand that this might throw back your schedule a bit, but I humbly request this much.**

**(P.S: My sister wants to request Eridan Ampora for some reason, but I don't care if you can't send him.)**

**(P.P.S: Look at me blathering on about something that can't happen. Shipping Homestuck characters to fans, they aren't even real.)**

** From A Homestuck Fan, Thank you for reading Mr. Hussie. **

Snickering at my childish, fan-girlish, obsessive quality about Dave and Jade-SpaceTime forever-as well as many other characters, I quickly push out of my seat, wobbling from my force upwards, and head downstairs to retrieve a PopTart from the cupboard.

* * *

First out of quite a bit! This story will continue...


	2. Chapter 2

Enjoy! I'm so happy today!

* * *

I sigh and stretch, and I'm being really shitty to everyone today because I woke up on the wrong side of the bed again today. Let's hope he replied to the message today, or 'Dave's on. That would be the gre~~atest. Hmm? Oh, it's your moirail, Allison Smith. Awesome.

**(alluringTitan began pestering crystalChaos at 09:41)**

**AT: Hey hey!  
CC: Hey, Ally.  
AT: B00 b00! Did s0me0ne vvake up 0n the vvr0ng side 0f the bed?!  
CC: Maybe, but doe§ that even matter?  
AT: 0f c0urse it matters, silly! Best friends, remember?  
CC: Ye§, of cour§e. I §incerely apologize for my action§, Alli§on.  
AT: It's okay~!0h, hey!  
AT: I f0und this site that all0vvs y0u t0 send a message t0 Andrevv Hussie himself!  
CC: I know. I §tumbled upon it late la§t night.  
AT: I asked f0r Nepeta and I think!  
AT: I think I asked f0r, uh, vvhat vvas her name!  
CC: Well, de§cribe her and I'll tell you her name.  
AT: That girl vvith the dark red hair! R0b0t girl?  
CC: Ah, I under§tand. Aradia Megido?  
AT: Yea! Aradia, I asked f0r Nepeta and Aradia! VVh0 did y0u ask f0r, Ariel?  
CC: Who el§e, Ally?  
AT: 0kay, I vvalked int0 that 0ne. S0, Dawe, Terezi, and!  
AT: VVh0 else?  
CC: Dave, Karkat, and Terezi are the main one§ that I reque§ted, but I a§ked for Eridan for A§hly.  
AT: Bluh! Stupid Eridan! Nice auspictice y0u f)rmed there, little missy! He he he!  
CC: GFDI ALLY  
AT: Ha ha ha! Bye!**

**(alluringTitan ceased pestering crystalChaos at 10:09) **

I chuckle, leaning back on the chair, wondering if I'll ever receive a notice that Dave will be shipped to me... I can dream, no? Like a Homestuck character will ever be shipped to me, out of all of the more contributory fans out there...Why would Andrew Hussie choose me...or Allison? Are they even...real people?

* * *

You are now Andrew Hussie and you scroll through your Gmail and Tumblr. You find a message from two girls in the United States. They want...Dave, Karkat, Terezi, Eridan-but not preferred, Aradia, and Nepeta... Hmm.

That's...interesting. "Hey, Dave!" You call to the 16 year old sitting on your couch in your living room area, sipping on some apple juice. He looks over the top of the couch at you with an expectant stare.

"How would you like visiting a fan's house for awhile?" You reply to his stare, which makes him smirk and stand, walking up to your computer.

"what so im going to be shipped to a fans house in the middle of egypt and stay with them until you decide to update?" Dave asks you and you reply with a simple nod and a snicker.

"Of course. But, not only you. Karkat and Terezi, maybe Eridan, are going to the house you're going to, and Vriska with Nepeta is going to her friend's house." You say as you look at the addresses they came from and the socialization between them.

"WHAT THE HELL YOU DIDNT ASK US." Karkat said from behind your chair, making you laugh.

"I have no reason. I control you guys. The only reason you guys exist is because I created you, right?" You say to the defiant little children, making them both scowl at you and they both return to watching the football game that's on. You're not good with football so you don't know who they are.

You reply back to both of them saying, **I agree to your requests and they shall be at your doorstep in about 3 days. Have fun~! **

You snicker and pick up your lovely broom nearby. You walk up to Dave and Karkat who are talking to each without turning to look at each, like normal. Perfect, just perfect. You raise your hands to hit them, and just as you hit upside the head, you hear a familiar voice.

"Oh dear, Andrew...That wasn't very nice now was it?"

* * *

I sit on the couch and the doorbell rings. I've been really nervous lately, since I read that letter he sent back to me and I really wanna know if they really are alive and real people. So, when the doorbell rang, I was expecting a different person. Sighing, I saunter over to doorway, preparing my words.

Opening the door I stood in front of, my words leave my thought process. All I'm thinking is, 'WHAT THE FUCK?' I blink at the sight in front of me.

"yo im guessing youre the fan hussie was talking about." The character hums with an ever so present smirk on his face as he kicks one of the boxes which results in an angry shout similar to "FUCKING STRIDER". "youre kinda pretty too not too bright but pretty."

I collect my thoughts and scowl. Taking care of a Homestuck will be harder than it looks...

* * *

sure will my little friend.


End file.
